Sandlapper Parrothead Telegraph
Volume III, Number 2
May 2000
A Charter PHiP Club

Captain's Log

Greetings Sandlappers!

Another month is in the books and what a month it was. On April 6th we poured over 18 kegs of beer for the thirsty masses at the Come See Me Festival's opening night Beach Bash. In case you don't know it, that's a ton of suds put away by the good pholks of Rock Hill. We were able to get a couple of Beach House on the Moon items autographed by The Tams, who provided the evening's entertainment, and we'll auction them off at an upcoming event to help benefit the Children's Attention Home of Rock Hill. On April 11th we held our monthly meeting at the Tropical Escape Café in Rock Hill with Worthington Station providing the background music for us. We picked up 7 new members and brought in close to $300 in dues and merchandise sales. The SPHC Board decided to use the money we raised at our 2nd Anniversary Party to buy a new computer for the kids at the Children's Attention Home and we'll be doing that soon. SPHC Vice President Randy Little introduced the Tropical Bird Refuge in Concord, NC to the Board and we hope to have one of their representatives coming to talk with us soon. On April 15th the SPHC participated in the Come See Me Festival's Tailgate Party which honored Prominent People of the 20th Century. Our entry centered around our favorite Tropical Troubadour and, despite Ma Nature pissing on our parade, we had a great time promoting the club. We didn't win the competition, though many of us thought our bribes of Margaritaville Tequila to the judges would help, but we did get our pictures on the front page of The Herald the next day along with a good write-up about the club. May 9th is the date of our next meeting and we'll be holding it at the Summit Restaurant in Chester. The party starts at 7PM and Worthington Station will be on hand to perform live for us. We'll also be having a May social at the Commodore Yacht Club on Lake Wylie. New SPHC member Mike Wylie has offered the use of his house mansion, err, boat and we'll be putting a band up there to entertain us as we tie off our boats in a mass tie-off on the lake. Details should be completed soon and we'll pass them along to you when we do. Our Knight's Castle concession stand work has begun and we need volunteers to help out. Check in this issue of the Telegraph for dates and times we need to be there and SIGN UP PLEASE! We need a minimum of 10 pholks to make each of our evenings work and, as you know, the money we earn goes to help put smiles on the faces of the kids at the Children's Attention Home. So grab your favorite beverage and kick back with the periodical that's not phit phor pooper scoopin'.


"There sits a fifth of tequila. God I swore I'd never drink it again. But my last little bout I had my hair pulled out by a man who really wasn't my friend. And I swore I'd never drink it again"

Tequila Shortage
by Ricardo Sandoval, Knight-Ridder

MEXICO CITY -- Get out your salt, lime and platinum card. Margaritaville's become one pricey town. Demand for tequila, made from the juice of Mexico's prized blue agave plant, is outpacing supply. One premium tequila is jumping $10 in Mecklenburg County ABC stores May 1. It's enough to make Jimmy Buffett cry. Mexican growers have raised agave prices almost ninefold in the past year, to around 40 cents a pound, arguing that they're finally getting their due for a crop in high demand around the world. Experts predict the shortage will get worse before more slow-growing agaves are ready for distillation. As a result, U.S. prices for cheaper tequilas, agave and sugar blends more commonly used for mixed drinks such as margaritas, have doubled from a year ago. Premium brands, distilled from 100 percent blue agave juice and aged longer, are sold in larger quantities and were immune to inflation in 1999. But their prices are now increasing as reserves diminish. In North Carolina, where all liquor is purchased through, and regulated by, the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board, prices have been rising since February and will become noticeably higher starting in May. "The information we received here in Charlotte is that with the floods and bad weather, a high percentage of the agave was damaged or destroyed," said Bill Hester, the Mecklenburg ABC Board's chief executive manager. The inflation has hit both premium and cheaper brands, Hester said. Porfido Cactus Single Barrel, a premium tequila, has the biggest increase: from $79.95 per bottle to $89.95 starting May 1. The ABC Board is charging $17 per bottle for the area's biggest seller, Jose Cuervo, which has had an increase of $1 the past two quarters. Buffett, the Key West singer and songwriter, made his mark with "Margaritaville," the party anthem that got a national chorus of blenders whirring. Mexican tequila experts say the agave shortage has more to do with U.S. demand than a sudden down-turn in production of Weber Blue, the only variety of agave allowed in Mexican tequila. It takes up to 10 years for a plant to mature for harvest, when the heart of the agave is baked or roasted, then crushed. The resulting sweet liquid is fermented and distilled. Premium tequilas are aged in oak barrels, most from two months to a year. It's hard to judge demand 10 years ahead, and Mexican tequila makers admit they miscalculated a decade ago, when the plantings for this year's production were done. A freeze in the winter of 1997 also cut agave production, as did a fungus in Jalisco state, site of the town of Tequila, which gave the liquor its name. Urban professionals such as Campbell have made tequila the fastest-growing alcoholic beverage in the United States during the past couple of years. In 1999, Mexico exported 80 million liters of tequila to the United States, up 48 percent from 1995.

"Stared at that guitar in that museum in Tennessee. The nameplate on the glass brought back 20 melodies. The scars upon the face told of all the times it fell, singin' all the stories it could tell"

CoCoNuggetts From The CoB,O

· Jimmy Buffett talked on Radio Margaritaville recently about his future plans: "The new book should hopefully be out by Christmas. Tully Mars will ride again. There won't be a new album until next year. I'm taking a year off from recording. I'm holding on to some new material and I've got some other ideas. I think I've still got one good one left in me."

· Word from Margaritaville is that Jimmy & Savannah Jane (Buffett's daughter) Buffett's children's book Trouble Dolls is being made into a movie and their other book Jolly Mon is being made into a TV show. (Editor's note: I'll believe it when I see it)

· Larry Lee, a back-up singer on Buffett's Son of a Son of a Sailor, Riddles in the Sand and Last Mango in Paris albums, died recently of a stroke. Larry was an original member of the Ozark Mountain Daredevils, best known for their hit song Jackie Blue.

· Jimmy was recently inducted into the Mississippi Musicians Hall of Fame for Contemporary Rock & Roll.

· Looks like Jimmy's seaplane, the Hemisphere Dancer, will be making appearances in each of the cities Buffett will be playing this summer. To see pictures of the new paint scheme, check out this web site:

· Radio Margaritaville is switching over to in an attempt to improve the quality of their broadcasts. This faster connectivity will allow Buffett to eventually offer streaming video.

Top 25 Rejected Titles for Buffett Songs
by BobRob

25. When Salome Plays the Nose Flute
24. A Thousand Steps To Sobriety
23. My-Haitian
22. I Heard I Was In Therapy
21. Meet Me in Minot
20. Octagenarians in the Palace
19. He Went To Saginaw
18. They Don't Dance Like Flatley No More
17. Sex-On-Phones
16. High Cumberland Gospel Hour
15. Please Take Your Inebriated Fifteen Year Old Significant Other To Her Humble Abode
14. Delaney Talks to Regis & Kathy Lee
13. Knees of my Prostate
12. Bosnian Promises
11. Somewhere Over Siberia
10. Ringling, Schmingling
9. Iraqian for the Night
8. Stars Fell on Texarkana
7. When the Roast is Rare
6. Bake Another Toad
5. L'Air De La North Dakota
4. Missouridays
3. Ballad of Stink-Bug Stan
2. Distantly in Heat
1. Son of a Bitch of a Hangover

Buffett Video Compilation

Mark June 18th on your calendar as Jimmy will be releasing his much-anticipated compilation of music videos on one VHS tape. Here's the line-up:
Pencil Thin Mustache, Come Monday, He Went To Paris, Nautical Wheelers, Livin' It Up, One Particular Harbour, La Vie Dan-sante, Who's The Blonde Stranger, Home-made Music, Take Another Road, Jamaica Farewell (Live), Another Saturday Night, Fruitcakes, Changes In Latitudes (Live with parking lot footage) & The City (Live with footage as shown on tour).

I Hate Jimmy Buffett (The Incarnation of a PHan)
by Ben Wener, Orange County (CA) Register

I hate Jimmy Buffett. Well, let's soften that. I certainly don't hate Jimmy Buffett personally. I'm sure he's a really swell guy once you get to know him. Loves his wife, loves his kids, is charitable to his fellow man. Probably makes a mean margarita. Fine. Whatever. I still hate his music. I hate those steel drums he insists on having plink not-so-softly in the background of just about every island tune he slams out. I hate that so many of his songs sound like "Margaritaville" rewrites with less charming punchlines. And I can't stand to see his goofy, grinning mug whenever it pops up in record racks. I get easily annoyed at his laidback, drink-up, Key West rules attitude, as if nothing mattered in the world except where to get another case of Coronas and a really juicy lime. I can't stand his insipid flip-flop-pop-top rhymes, all those witless third-grade sing-alongs that turn adults into babbling imbeciles in stupid hats and grass skirts. And I really, really hate "Cheeseburger in Paradise." So it makes perfect sense that I married a Parrothead. Not only that -- I married into an entire family of Parrotheads. My mother-in-law loves Buffett. My wife's sister and brother love Buffett. And then there's Don. King Parrothead in this clan. He lives and breathes Buffett. His 200-disc carousel changer has the entire Buffett catalog loaded from the Disc 1 slot forward. In fact, whenever we head down to my brother-in-law's house in San Clemente, it's like entering a private Margaritaville. There's always booze in the blender, a keg on tap, steaks on the barbecue (even in the rain) and tasty waves crashing in the distance. Shorts and a T-shirt is the uniform, and not a pair of shoes in sight. Since the day I met him Don has been trying to convince me that I'm a fool not to adore Buffett - not unlike the scores of readers who have written in to tell me I'm an idiot for panning whatever his latest sunshine opus is. So when it was announced that Buffett would once again return to Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre for two shows (Thursday and April 29), I relented. I agreed to take in the complete Parrothead experience. My new family has seen the guy, oh, at least 25 times collectively; the most I've endured was a pleasant four-song stint he did at a Nicolette Larson tribute concert in '97. The least I can do is sit through the whole thing once, right? Thus I needed to be informed. I decided to do my own critical survey of Buffett's 32-album career. But first, the big confession: Until a month ago, I had never listened to an entire Jimmy Buffett album from beginning to end. I didn't care to. I knew the hits and a few choice album cuts. That was enough. Some things you just know you are going to despise. Don tried to set me straight. He loaded me up with his old vinyl albums and gave me tips: avoid the "Rancho Deluxe" soundtrack and the horrible "Riddles in the Sand" (???) and dive deeply into the holy trifecta of "A1A," "Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude" and "Son of a Son of a Sailor." Then he told me to drink a lot of beer and settle in. It would be a very long month.

Almost immediately things went wrong. After one play each of ol' Jim's "A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean" and "Living and Dying in ¾ Time," my needle broke. Not a good omen. I started in again, now on CD, with 1973's "White Sport Coat," the first album to promulgate Buffett's beach-bum lifestyle. (Yes, I know he did two albums before it, but I waited to hear them as most fans probably did, on the 1993 repackage "Before the Beach.") Now, Shelly, my wife, really gets into these silly Buffett narratives that don't do squat for me. She got all excited to hear songs like "The Great Filling Station Holdup" (which sounds like the "Dukes of Hazard" theme to me) and "Peanut Butter Conspiracy" again…and again…and again. I couldn't wait for them to end. It all seemed so dippy, so frivolous, so lacking in meaning. It had no weight, no depth. I was trying too hard. I was being cynical. Then I heard this ridiculous ditty called, of all things, "Grapefruit - Juicy Fruit." Jimmy drawls in his unmistakable tenor: Grapefruit, A bathing suit, Chew a little Juicy Fruit, Wash away the night. Pretty basic, huh? Almost like a grade-school poem. Maybe. But I can't begin to explain how it hit me. Maybe it was just the escape I sought at that moment. Maybe it was the simple way Buffett rhymed "money" with "honey" in the chorus. More likely, though, it was the music. It was subtle but remarkable, shifting from a sweetly dopey country shuffle to a whirling, dreamy swing, while these exquisite harmonies cooed in the background."Sounds like something Bare Naked Ladies would do!" I exclaimed, excited to have found a Buffett tune I liked. Shelly simply looked at me as if to say, "Duh." Then I started to read the lyrics - and read into the lyrics. I boned up on Buffett's past - how he started as a journalist at Billboard (!), then quit to become a struggling Nashville cat before he discovered a gold mine in the tropics. In other words, how he survived. Later I'd hear a song on the middling "Volcano" album called "Survive," and even at that halfway point in his career it made perfect sense. Buffett has earned his enduring, smiling, feel-good legend, no matter how much it's reviled in certain quarters. I went back to listening, and suddenly these rather ordinary songs began to take on a whole new meaning. "Death of an Unpopular Poet"? Hey, that could be Jimmy's early life story. "I Have Found Me a Home"? His reflection on what it means to settle down. Even that "Peanut Butter" tune about good-natured hold-ups - it started to deepen in my mind, take on more autobiographical detail. From then on, the albums started tumbling forth with bright ideas. It's the benefit of hearing an artist's entire career in about three weeks: You witness his star rise and fall and rise again, almost as if it were an episode of "Behind the Music." And right now Jimmy was about to blow up big time. The seafaring "A1A" (1974) and the life-on-the-road portrait "Havana Daydreamin'" (1976) weren't teeming with brilliance, though each had moments of joy. But "Living and Dying" (1974) was a real treasure, for the first time shuffling together everything that makes Buffett fun. There was his patented nostalgia ("Pencil Thin Mustache") and the bad puns ("The Wino and I Know"). There was his credo that partying is a birth right ("God's Own Drunk"). There was some honest romanticism (the marvelous "Come Monday") and, most importantly, those occasional flashes of personal history (in this case, the oh-well shrug of "Brand New Country Star"). I still grimaced when I looked at his album covers; until "Fruitcakes" (1994), this man had the absolute worst covers of any major artist. But I was finding myself humming in the shower: "Grapefruit ... chew a little Juicy Fruit ..." I couldn't get his songs out of my head. Little fragments would repeat endlessly: "Why don't we get drunk and ... ," "And if I had the money honey, I'd strap you in beside me," "I wish I had a pencil-thin mustache ... " It was dawning on me that Buffett is (but maybe was) a true talent, capable of making the everyday seem worth celebrating but deep enough to find clever ways to detail his life. So few "important" artists are willing to truly lay themselves bare and recount their ups and downs; Buffett does it at least once an album. But he doesn't shy away from documenting his travails in song - and that courage and conviction ultimately led to a creative peak: the commercial breakthrough "Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude" (1977), the album that made him a superstar for a short time, and "Son of a Son of a Sailor" (1978), far and away his best work. This wasn't just great music on the Buffett scale. This was great music, period. The sound was now rich and complex, certainly as good if not better than anything by the Eagles or Jackson Browne. His vocals were smooth as melting butter - unless, as with the shockingly defiant "Fool Button," they were edgy and paranoid. And the tunes rolled out effortlessly: the ease of "Lovely Cruise," the ache of "Miss You So Badly," the Stones-ish riffing of "Tampico Trauma," the double entendre of "The Last Line." But then there's the thorn in my side, "Cheeseburger in Paradise." It's such a seemingly dumb song - a loving ode to a messy American standard riddled with cliches. A novelty, a joke. It was only when I realized that Jimmy was singing "I'm a cheeseburger in paradise," though, that its meaning hit me. Of course he's a cheeseburger in paradise! It's the perfect brain-dead metaphor for so many of us. I'm a cheeseburger in paradise, too - just one big comfort-cravin' cheesehead attached to a lump of grease that I can't get in shape and aren't about to try to. "Is this what all these Parrotheads respond to year after year?" Again, Shelly just looked at me as if to say, "Duh."

By the time I finish "Son of a Son of a Sailor," I'm forced to admit I like some Jimmy Buffett - a matter underlined the farther I journeyed through his impressively lengthy career. I've learned that you simply cannot write Buffett off entirely, no matter how many clunkers he releases. I still can't identify with his cult of climate, his tropical mania, all those Parrotheads living it up for nothing more than one more cerveza and a warm summer breeze. But when he's truly himself - as he is on the heartbreaking "Pre-You," or adorable odes to youth like "Delaney Talks to Statues" and "Barefoot Children," or in the winsome post-hippie lament of "Blue Heaven Rendezvous" - he's hard to resist. Maybe I've been brainwashed by inundation, but I find myself craving a Buffett tune or two now and then. It's eerily calming. Don't ask me why. So all right, I'll say it: I'm a fan.

Jimmy Buffett Plays St. Barts
by Ellen Lampert-Greaux of ISLANDS Magazine

I'd be willing to bet that back in 1949, when Marius Stakelborough sold his first glass of rum punch at Le Select, he never dreamed his modest St. Barthelemy bar would some day host a concert by one of America's most popular musicians. But that's exactly what happened last November 6th when Marius celebrated the bar's 50th anniversary with a concert headlined by Jimmy Buffett and attended by Le Select loyalists from around the world. "For 25 years I've dreamed of playing on this quay. Vive St. Barts. Vive Le Select. Vive Marius," a barefoot Buffett roared as he took the stage. And the crowd roared back. As is true of so many people who run enduring island enterprises - especially bars - the owner of Le Select has charisma, an easygoing magnetism that people like to experience. Tall and lanky with a wispy white beard - and typically dressed in a tee shirt, shorts and his signature green sneakers - the 77 year old Marius has been variously cast as the Af-rican wise man and the island patriarch. Given his 9 children and 20 grandchildren, the latter is particularly appropriate. He has described himself as a man "with a will to survive and a need to communicate." To the casual visitor, Le Select's impact on this Caribbean island can be hard to grasp, but only until you know the history of Marius and his bar. A sailor by trade, Marius was looking for a little extra money in 1949, so he scattered a few chairs and tables around the garden of his tiny house in the island's capital city of Gustavia and opened for business. Friends would come by to have a drink, get something to eat, or play cards, and soon the gatherings had outgrown the garden. In 1953, after moving to larger quarters in a house by the harbour, Marius began selling books to supplement the bar receipts. Eventually a couple of islanders set up barber chairs at the house on Saturdays, adding another dimension to the growing social whirl of Le Select. Over time, it became the everything-for-everybody place and the spot to catch up on the local gossip. In the 1950's, when the island was still without electricity, Marius got his hands on a battery-operated record player and hosted the first public dance. Music is still a hot item on the menu, and at Le Select's current location, the former post office next to the old bar, dancing continues well into the night. Later, Marius added a garden restaurant called Cheeseburger in Paradise with the approval of Buffett, who gets free cheeseburgers for life in exchange for use of the song title. Buffett himself first sailed into St. Barts in the mid-1970's, fell in love with the island, and struck up his long-running friendship with Marius. Buffett recalls that when he first arrived on the island, "A friend of mine told me to head to Le Select and it would all work itself out from there. I did and it did. It's one of the great spots on the planet. Marius has a warm greeting for everyone." Over the years Buffett had given free informal concerts at Le Select and when he heard about their 50th anniversary celebration, he offered to bring the whole band and do a full show on the dock. "It sounded like a great ting to do," said Buffett. "It was the end of the cen-tury and it was perfect timing, so why not? I've gotten a lot of pleasure from my years on this island and I consider it as much a home as any place I've ever been. As soon as the news got out (Marius sent out 200 invitations to friends all over the world) things got bu-sy. Phlocks of Parrotheads began heading to the island, some from as far away as Sweden, to take part. The St. Barts web site was overrun with inquiries, and before long there was not a hotel room to be had. On the day of the concert, Parrotheads started showing up around noon for the evening show, spreading out blankets and towels and jockeying for good spots. Boats arrived all day long ferrying people in right up until the music started. With some 2500 people on hand, Buffett took the stage for a 3 hour per-formance that included Creola, a song Buffett wrote during one of his stints on St. Barts. At the end of the evening, Buffett summed up the party saying, " This was a magical mo-ment for Marius & me." It was also one that St. Barts will remember for a long time.

Knight's Castle Dates

Here are the dates we have scheduled coming up at Knight's Castle. On these dates the management of Knight's Castle expects us to have a minimum of 10 members on hand. It would be ideal to have even more than that so please call or e-mail Lewis Cauthen ( or 329-8609) with the dates you can work. And remember that we are using this project to raise money to help the Children's Attention Home. Also, if you have kids, they will be admitted into the game for free. Another also, it is mandatory that we be dressed the same so please wear your club tee shirt (with parrot on back) and the beige/khaki club cap. If you were not given a club tee shirt when you signed up as a member you are entitled to one. Sort of comes with the membership. And if you don't have a club cap, we'll have extras at the game. One more thing (damn, is he ever gonna give it up), even if you are not signed up for an evening, that doesn't mean you can't work if you suddenly find you have nothing to do that night. Come on out and join us at the ballpark.

Saturday May 13th
Thursday May 25th
Tuesday June 6th
Friday June 23rd
Thursday July 13th
Monday July 24th
Wednesday August 9th
Wednesday August 23rd

Atlanta Road Trip

Our road trip to Atlanta for the July 15th Buffett concert is sold out. If you'd like to be put on the waiting list, please contact me ASAP! The game plan as of now is to have 2 pick-up points in Rock Hill & Chester and to leave around 9:00 to 10:00 on that Saturday morning. We will be returning that evening after the concert.

1st Annual SPHC Live on the Lake

Jot Saturday May 20th on your calendars as the SPHC will be taking to the Commodore Yacht Club on Lake Wylie for our Live on the Lake Party. We'll be departing from the Yacht Club around 1PM to head for our anchorage spot and tie off to SPHC member Mike Wylie's house boat. All boats and parrotheads are welcome to join us and we'll have live entertainmnet atop the house boat from 2PM until 6PM. Bring your own refreshments and food and come party down with us. We'll be passing the hat to help pay for the entertainment so you might want to bring a few extra greenbacks to help us out. And who knows, we may even have a few items to auction off for the Children's Attention Home. The phinal details will be forthcoming soon.

The May Meeting

The SPHC will have our next monthly meeting on Tuesday, May 9th at the Summit Restaurant on top of the hill in beautiful downtown Chester. The business meeting will convene at 6PM with the regular phlocking starting at 7PM. Anyone interested in sitting in on the business meeting is invited to do so. Worthington Station will be on hand to provide the live entertainment for us and there'll be food and drink specials for everyone. We might even have a few things to give away to a few lucky parrotheads, so come on out and show your pheathers.

Children's Attention Home Honor

Libby Sweatt-Lambert, Executive Director of the Children's Attention Home in Rock Hill, recently asked me if one of our members would be interested in accepting a Board of Director's position at the Home. Needless to say I was thrilled with the proposition and now put it to our members. If you are interested in being our representative to the Home, please contact me before May 9th for more information.

"In days of old when knights were bold and journeyed from their castles trusty men were left behind, knights needed not the hassles. They helped themselves to pig and peach and drank from king's own chalice. Ahh, it was a stirring sight these gypsies in the palace"

Calendar of Phlockings
May 1st Club Trini will start accepting pre-orders for their live CD Late Night Menu. Go to to pre-order this CD which has 14 songs including 3 with Jimmy Buffett on vocals.
May 5th Cinco de Mayo with Worthington Station at Tommy's in Richburg,
6PM - 10PM
May 6th Worthington Station at the Rainbow Deli, The Arboretum in Pineville, 9PM - 1AM
May 9th SPHC monthly meeting at the Summit Restaurant in Chester, 7PM
May 12th The Two Can Sam Band perform at the RodeHouse at the Executive Inn in Rock Hill
May 20th SPHC's Live at the Lake Party, Commodore Yacht Club, 1PM - 6PM
May 23rd Worthington Station perform at Tubby's on Cherry Road in Rock Hill, 7PM - 10PM
May 30th Club Trini releases Live! Late Night Menu
June 2nd Worthington Station at the Rainbow Deli, The Arboretum in Pineville, 9PM - 1AM
June 2nd or 3rd Buffett's Rehearsal Concert at the North Charleston Coliseum. No Details Yet!
June 13th SPHC Monthly Meeting at the Tropical Escape Café, Rock Hill, 7PM
July 15th SPHC's Road Trip To Hotlanta for the Jimmy Buffett Concert at Lakewood

Who Are We?

The Sandlapper Parrothead Club is a non-profit organization that ROCKS! Our mission, should we decide to accept it (we usually do), is to perform community service projects, keep a responsible eye towards the environment, and to enjoy the tropical spirit of the music of Jimmy Buffett. Your mission, should you decide to accept it (we hope you do), is to join the Sandlapper Parrothead Club and help us leave the world a better place than we found it.